The Tale of: Shika Hood
by Coozie
Summary: Steal from the Rich and Give to the Poor, that was his motto. ShikamaruxNeji; NarutoxSasuke; maybe others.
1. Chapter 1

**Pairings:**** Main: ShikamaruxNeji, NarutoxSasuke; Perhaps Others  
**

**Warnings: No warnings for this chapter, but in general for the story- Yaoi, M rated in later chapters  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and don't make any money off this fics. It's just for the pure enjoyment of writing.  
**

**Author's Notes: Well this is my second fanfic I've written _and _published, that's yaoi. Mmm, not much to say really, hope you enjoy the story. It's basically the Naruto version of Robin Hood, so this should be fun :D. Enjoy ShikaNeji fans! And others too!  
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_Say there fellow. Or ma'am, I don't discriminate. Sit, and hear of a tale of adventure, mischief. Of devotion, love. And meet characters like no others before, that'll even make those Wonderland folks seem dull. When you put in your band of looters, a narrow minded King, a swayed former prince, a loyal sidekick, and the sly outlaw, you're bound to be brewing up a heck of a story. So relax, kick up your feet and hence forward the tale of ,"Shika Hood".  
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"Hey, look. That one's like a bear."

"That one looks like a rabbit."

"That one looks like a sack filled of dry, sliced, crisped potatoes…"

There was a pause, before the Nara looked at his chubby partner in crime.

"What nonsense are you spouting about now Chouji?"

The Akamichi sighed, dismissing the comment with a head shake. "Just a dream."

The two friends were relaxing on a hillside watching the clouds roll by, not much to do since there wasn't much potential lootees on the prowl. You'd think on such a nice day like this there'd be people…

Just then three quick, sharp whistles came from the east, immediately catching their attention.

Ahhh, it was Shikamaru's gang of looters. The Merry Men, the Boisterous Boys, hell, why not the Flamboyant Fellas? Call them what you will but they're Shikamaru's always loyal gang of thieves. And apparently from the three whistles that sounded off there is a man of many riches moving through the forest.

Jumping up with Chouji, Shikamaru -often called "Shika Hood", apparently Nara didn't have that same ring to it like Hood did- sped off towards the calling, dodging his way through the forest.

A bird call, sounding akin to a goose being throttled, thanks to one of his more… _special_ Merry Men, warned that they were very close. Taken cover under a canopy of leaves while Chouji stood behind a tree, the two men waited until the carriage neared.

"Morning fellows."

The guards froze as Shikamaru and Chouji popped out of their hiding spots, bringing the carriage to an abrupt stop.

"Lord Gato! It's Shika Hood and Little Cho!"

A balding head popped out the door of the carriage, observed the situation, and gave out a laugh.

"Come on men, there're four of you and two of them! They can't possibly win!"

"Huh, only four guards? You must not be all that important if that's all you have protecting you."

"Hey!"

With their renewed willpower, the guards made a move to attack the two protagonists, only to pause when Shikamaru let out a long, low whistle. The woods became silent, the guards and Gato held their breath at the eerie silence.

Just as Gato went to break said silence several thuds were heard, drawing their attention towards Shika Hood and Little Cho. No, it couldn't be...

"Sir it's the Merry Men!"

True to his word, there stood the formidable Merry Men, weapons drawn and prepared to attack. Shikamaru smirked at the obvious fear Gato was displaying.

"Alright Gato the odds are against you, surrender your loot and we'll let you off scotch free. Deal?"

Gato's sight grazed over the men before it rested on one in particular. His eyes widened in disbelief. Was that a... _woman?!_

"You have a woman as a Merry Men?!"

With all eyes on the not man Merry Men member (ain't that a tongue twister?), she fumed and pointed her fan at Gato. "Yeah, you gotta problem with that?!"

"Ouuu, a fan, scaaary. Shouldn't you be making my mutton or something?"

"You can shove that mutton up your a-"

"Settle down Temari, troublesome woman. Look Gato, is it a deal or not?"

Well, the situation looked quite hopeless for Gato. Not only was it ten to five, well more like ten to four since he didn't know squat about fighting,

"Fine, but you all shall pay for this one day!"

With two Merry Men watching over the guards and Temari keeping Gato in check, the rest of them ransacked the carriage. There's a lot of gold kept with him, Shikamaru thought, must be moving or something. Not that he honestly cared, his motto wasn't "Steal from the rich and feel guilty later".

Heaving a heavy sack over his shoulder, Chouji remarked, "We'll leave you with your horses and guards Gato, have a safe trip!"

"Watch out for bandits, they'll come and rob you blind!" Added Temari.

Unamused, he retreated back to his now very bare carriage and ordered his men to move. Moving a very rickety two feet, the wheels then gave out and the whole thing collapsed.

"What happened?!" Screamed a very irritable Gato.

"Sir, they even took the gold encrusted hub caps too!"

"Why you holligans-" he yelled, turning back. His anger was fueled even more when he took in note that all of them were already gone.

"I'll sought my revenge Shika Hood!  
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Well there's Chapter 1 of Shika Hood! I was going to originally gonna make it longer with the meeting of the Merry Men but I decided to make that into a chapter of its own. Neji should either make an introducing in the next chapter or the third. And just for fun, I want to see if you can guess who the eight Merry Men are. There's no prize or anything, it's just for fun. And a hint is that they're all characters you would of known from Pre-Shippuden. And Temari is one if you didn't realize. Well, I should be updating fairly soon with the next chapter, since a lot of it is already done. Well see ya!

Reviews and Constructive Criticism is always welcomed~~


	2. Chapter 2

**Pairings:**** Main: ShikamaruxNeji, NarutoxSasuke; Perhaps Others  
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**Warnings: No warnings for this chapter, but in general for the story- Yaoi, Het, M rated in later chapters  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and don't make any money off this fics. It's just for the pure enjoyment of writing.  
**

**Author's Notes: And the mysterious disappearing author returns! Sorry I haven't updated :(, I guess I failed to mention I was horrible at that. Though, I basically had this whole chapter nearly done. Gah imma loser. Anyhow, I would like to thank all who reviewed this story, each one made me really happy. I would reply to all of them individually but I'm not sure how the people who run this site will respond, and I'd rather not risk losing my story. Also, thanks to those who just read it and didn't review too(I saw all those hits my lurker brethren ^^). I'm glad not only do some appreciate the story idea but also the story structure, since I do put a lot into making it easy to read and not crammed. Well sorry for the ramming fest dearies, here's chapter to of "Shika Hood"!**

**Wait I forgot! About the little contest I did in the last chapter, everybody who guessed got it all right but one, it was Sasuke, not Choji. But it's my fault really. In my mind Choji (Little John) isn't a Merry Men, but Shikamara's (Robin Hood's) right hand man. So my fault guys, I'll try to be more clear next time.  
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After Gato and the rest left, the group made their way through the dense forest.

"Oi, Shika, why don't we ever fight? These weapons aren't just for flaunting you know!"

"I prefer the easy way of doing things Naruto. Remember, brains over brawns."

The young blond sighed. "I know, but the last time we did was ages ago."

Naruto grinned over at his silent dark haired companion. "I remember it like it was yesterday..."

Groans of 'not this again's and 'we know's rung throughout the gang, though one felt differently.

"Oh pish posh what the other's say Naruto! Go on with your story of eternal youth and devoted love!" Said a Merry Men, flashing him a thumbs up along with a dazzling smile.

Turning back, Naruto returned the gesture.

"Thanks Lee! Anyways, there I was, against 10 guards, battling my way to save Sasuke from his pending dome!"

"Fool, how many times must I remind you? It was just me with my _two_ guards, not ten. And actually, one wasn't even my guard, he was my blind mentor."

"What? No way! He had a weapon in his hand, ready to attack!"

"Idiot that was his walking stick!"

"How do you know it wasn't a disguised spear? Temari has daggers installed in her fans she carries around. And explain to me why he was swinging it around trying to attack me?"

The young Uchiha slapped his forehead before dragging it down his face in annoyance. How many times had they gone through this argument?

"I'd defend myself if a blond psychopath came at me too."

The Uzumaki pouted, dropping the matters for now. Then a face splitting grin appeared on his face.

"Hey, I'm getting pretty good at my bird calls, aren't I?"

"If committing murder to a bagpipe is considered 'good' Naruto then you're doing superb."

Motioned ceased, sacks dropped to the floor (not _those _sacks, the ones with money!), and nine heads snapped back to the youngest member of the squad.

Even Shino had to lower his glasses for that one.

Did... did Gaara just make a joke?

"Why are you all looking at me?"

Kankuro shook himself out of his shock stupor.

"You made a joke Gaara. A _funny_ one at that."

Gaara frowned deep in thought before he glanced fleetingly at everyone.

"Did I scare you?"

The group had to take a moment to think. Were they scared? No, it was kind of a pleasant relief to see Gaara have a sense of humor, though a little unnerving.

Everyone shook there heads 'no'. At that Gaara returned to his thoughts, furrowed his eyebrows (well the space were they should be) and frowned.

"If it's a joke then why isn't anybody laughing? People are suppose to laugh at funny jokes..."

Loud, nervous laughter broke out through the group, well _now_ they were scared, not that Gaara noticed.

Satisfied, Gaara continued the walk, with the rest trailing behind him slightly anxious.

Clearing his throat, Kiba looked to Shikamaru with a questioning gaze.

"So Shika, what are we gonna do today?"

Rolling his eyes, Shikamaru leveled the tattooed cheek man with a flat look.

"Do you really need to ask?"

"Ahhh Shikamaru! I know half of us here grew up in an orphanage so we donate alot, but come on! Can't we go out and get some wine and wenches for once?"

Chants of 'Ew' rung out through the crowd, since most of the merry men were also quite merry in there sexual preferences.

Naruto growled at Kiba before yelling at him.

"We all didn't grow up with a loving family dog breathe! Show some respect why don't ya!"

"I wasn't being disrespectful idiot I was just suggesting-"

The two continued to bicker throughout the walk, much to everyone's annoyance.

Shikamaru sighed, holding his arms behind his head.

'This is gonna be a long walk...'

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**And whalaa, Chapter 2 is complete! Was that so hard Coozie? I think in the last chapter I implied that Neji will either be in this chapter or the next. Obviously he's not in this one so I'm pretty sure he'll be in part of the next one. I'm sorry this isn't very long, but I wanted to get this out soon. Also, I know this is a humor story but if you think that I'm laying it on a bit to thick just tell me so and I'll tone it down, kay? Also, to Luke, (whispers back) It's coming soonish~!^^. Sayonara Amigos! (A language bender!)  
**

**Reviews and Constructive Criticism are always welcomed~~**


	3. Chapter 3

**Pairings:** Main: ShikamaruxNeji, NarutoxSasuke; Perhaps Others**  
**

**Warnings: **No warnings for this chapter, but in general for the story- Yaoi, Het, M rated in later chapters**  
**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto and don't make any money off this fics. It's just for the pure enjoyment of writing.**  
**

**Author's Notes: **Phew, has it been a year and a half already? Man how time flies, heh heh. I apolgize for my terrible updates, but I wrote you a long chapter to make up for it (hopefully). So enjoy!

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The air was thick with ignorant tension as the time passed by agonizingly. Seconds seemed to turn into minutes, and minutes turned into hours as they all waited the time of judgement.

But alas, the time was upon us.

"Duck... Duck... Goose!"

In a quick blur a little girl blasted off around the circle of laughing bodies, as a feral looking brunette lunged himself out of the circle and towards the running child.

"Can't catch me mutt breath!"

"Oh that's it!"

Kiba chased the little girl repeatedly around the circle, in which eventually he lost when said little girl, Ami, dived for the empty spot that the mutt left.

As the kids started up laughing again, this time at the expense of Kiba's failure, you could hear Naruto's cackling the loudest, as he screamed insults at the fuming dog lover.

"Ha! You got outran by a five year old girl! Whose the one who thought you'd make a good Merry Men?"

"You were you dunce!"

As the two started bickering, Rock Lee bounced in his seat on the floor excitedly, clapping his hands furiously at the overall atmosphere of the room.

"Oh this day is so much fun! I must keep note of it so I can refer back to it in future reference!"

Quickly his hands dove into his tattered priest robe and withdrew a thick hand book, in which he started to quickly scrawl whatever was going through his head in there.

Now there might be some confusion on why Lee is wearing a priest robe, but it's not only him fitted in one, but everyone of the giving thieves had one on. It may be strange, but you've got to understand that parading around the small village the orphanage was located in with their terrible quality pants and colorful assorted feathered hats might have raised some suspicion, so they needed some sort of cover up.

Shikamaru sat back on a rickety chair that sat at a table, vaguely watching as his friends were reduced to the antics of children as they partook in the favored game "Duck Duck Goose". He couldn't complain though, they were spending quality time with the kids and having fun, and he'd be a liar if he said he didn't want to join in himself.

Not that he would or even admit it.

The caretaker of the children, a kind hearted man named Iruka, took a set next to him and watched the games too for a bit, until he turned to the Nara.

"Shikamaru, I'd like to thank you and the boys for all that you have done. I fret that if you haven't been making all the donations you have been that the kids and I might of been left without a roof over our heads. I greatly appreciate everything you do for us."

Shikamaru shrugged. It always sort of embarrassed him when Iruka would act like they're these big heroes or something. It honestly wasn't _that _big a deal, even though the Nara knew deep down it was. "It's no problem Iruka, it is the least we can do."

A calm silence fell between the two as they started watching the festivities again.

"...Duck... Duck... Duck... Goose! Haha can't catch me!"

A little boy named Kuro started darting away from the youngest Sabaku, since it was he who was bestowed with the gift of being some loud mouth feathered bird.

Gaara sat extremely still, ignoring the motivational cheers of 'You can do it Gaara!' that was screamed at him while Kuro stood wiggiling his tongue at him in the most irritating of teasing gestures.

Not to mention the wiggling of fingers next to his ears and the continuous "Nana nana na na!" coming his way from the kid as well.

Almost with an almost eerie calmness, the Sabaku reach over and picked up Lee's pocket book, which the exuberant man tried in vain to get back, and lunged it at the boy's face.

Bullseye.

As everybody sat shocked, staring between Gaara and the crying boy, the red head slowly lifted his thumbs to his ears, wiggled his fingers, and stuck out his tongue.

"Na na na."

Okay, it was about time Shikamaru went outside and had a smoke.

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Taking a rather long drag from his cigarette, Shikamaru lazily strolled through the forest that surrounded the village, making his quick escape out of there after Iruka ran to the boy in mother hen mode.

His walk went on for quite some time, he being lost in thought while he continuously light one tobacco stick after another. But eventually they came to an end, and he stared sadly into the small, velvet hand sack Temari sowed him for his birthday last year.

"Guess I'll have to go make some more now..."

His outspoken thoughts trailed off slowly as he finally took notice of his surroundings, and stared hypnotically at a castle that stood mighty and imposing just 10 or so yards away from.

Where exactly was he? And who in the hell does this castle belong to?

"Who are you? And what are you doing in the proximity of this castle?"

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Wow, he's even more eye catching than that damn castle.

In front of Shikamaru stood a boy about his age, with long, thick hair that reached far down his back, and bangs framing the boy's strangely firm, yet delicate face. And those eyes, they were just like his beloved clouds...

A throat being cleared brought out of his temporary stupor, the thief was quick to formulate an alibi to hopefully convince the distractingly attractive boy.

"My name is Ryuino Seku and I was summoned to the castle for someone who has fallen ill. I've came to give my blessings in hopes to rid of the accursed demon poisoning the poor being. I would of made my entrance by the front of castle but it seems I have gotten lost on my way here."

The other boy continued to stare at him questioningly, though he could tell he hit a core when his eyes slightly softened. Maybe he wasn't so farfetched with his story, and someone close to him was indeed sick.

What? What do you expect from a thief? A half assed liar?

"For a priest, you are considerable... young."

"I started my practice early. You never know, with the life expectancy nowadays."

After moments of the boy's piercing, pale gaze he extended his hand out to Shikamaru.

"Hyuga Neji, it is pleasure to meet you Ryuino-san."

Grasping the extended hand, Shikamaru grinned at the boy- Neji.

"Believe me, the pleasure is all mine Neji. And please, call me Seku."

As the hand shake grew increasingly long, as well as awkward for Neji since apparently this 'Seku' didn't know proper hand shaking etiquite, he tugged his hand away from the priest, looking off to the side to distract himself.

A lecherous smirk broke out on the young Nara's face.

By how this conversation has been rolling out so far, it appears that he might be spending time with this attractive Hyuga in his castle, which was a plus. Not to mention, if what he picked up so far was correct, he was a bit of a prude. Then again, it was just a hand shake, so Shikamaru would have to do some further investigation about the Hyuga boy. Yes, just a handshake, a soft, warm, tight-

"Seku? Did you hear me?"

"What?"

He's going to need to work on his attention span around Neji if he gets him this riled up and distracted this easily.

The Hyuga huffed his cheeks a little bit in irritation, before he repeated himself.

"I said where is your belongings? Since you will be staying for a while you should of have brought some spare clothing."

Always quick on his feet that Shikamaru was, spitting out lies so fast it'd make anyone believe they were true.

"A tragedy really, I was robbed blind by a band of misfits in the depths of the forest. They took nearly everything I had, besides the robe on my back."

It was damn near shocking how fast the Hyuga had changed, going from being very irritated in a rather adorable manner to completely emotionless.

"I see... it was mostly the local bandit Shika Hood. I apologize greatly for your lost of possessions, and my Uncle will fully reimburse you. Now if you would follow me, it's getting quite late and I'd like to get in before it becomes dark."

And with that, Neji turned and headed off.

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And that's that of Chapter 3, god I thought I'd never get it done. I really had fun writing this chapter, more or less of the gang playing duck duck goose with the kids. And readers, did you ever notice how pale Shikamaru is? Swear I read so much fanfiction that I forget that he's on Sasuke's level. And also, I was reading Neji's profile to do some research and such, and they said that that gray thing he wore around his waist in the Shippuden outfit was a apron. The hell? What kind of blasphemy is that? Can anybody tell me what it really is, because I doubt they have their prodigy running around in a chef garb. Or maybe aprons had different uses back around that time period. I don't know honestly, help a Coozie out? Thanks for reading!

**Reviews and Constructive Criticism are always welcomed~~**


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